I promised myself, when I had my daughter last February, that I would begin the process of reclaiming my spirit, however that might happen, and however long it might take me. I took a long look at how quickly life moves, how much we sacrifice sometimes for the greater good, and in doing so, sometimes lose essential parts of ourselves in the process. I knew it was important that I find myself again, for my own good, and for the good of the woman who had been entrusted to me.
Ten years ago, I was a girl who once told fellow voice majors of mine "do you want to be some body, or do you want to be SOMEBODY?" I had a sparkle, a love of the spotlight, an all consuming passion and devotion to my music and to the theater. I was never NOT performing. I wanted to move directly to NYC after college graduation, get my first show, and, the rest of course, would be musical theater history. My name in lights forever, right next to Lupone and Merman.
Alas, life never works out the way we want it to, seemingly never enough money to fuel these dreams we dream up, we start to make excuses for why we can't do things, and then, one day, you wake up married, with 2 stepkids and an infant daughter, working in retail and realizing that you haven't sung in more than 2 years. And, to be honest, it wasn't just the music that had escaped me....life, very simply, had become mundane. Everything I used to enjoy was either nonpresent or no longer exciting.
In any case, I'm so proud to have begun the process of getting back to me. I am singing again, having rejoined a professional chorus in Chicago that I sang with back in 2000-2001, and, on a personal level, I've started to find passion in myself again...and SL has been a huge contributor to that reawakening. It's amazing to me, really...something I initially only looked into as a curiosity has had such an effect on my RL well-being. It's made me happier, restored my joy, perked up my libido...truly, given me an outlet and friendships I never dreamed it could.
An unexpected gift, and a wonderful tool in helping me be a better me :)
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You're the brightest star I know Ninners, and I love you like peanut butter. Always remember...when searching for yourself: know where to look and know that what find won't be what you expected. You're so much stronger, better, and smarter than you were before. The spark hasn't faded, its just been on dim to save power while you were busy making a little starlet! ;) I'm proud to call you one of my very best friends in RL & SL, closest confidante, shopping buddy, partner in crime, as well as sweet, loving, protective big sister. Lots of Love!
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